Vacation? You Bet!

“Yes, you read that correctly. The Iraqi parliament - who our brave young men and women are fighting to protect and preserve - is planning on taking a two-month vacation during the months of July and August.” (From our friends at CrooksandLiars.com)

I really don’t begrudge our friends in the Iraqi Parliament for wanting to have some down time. After all it really is stressful watching the American military slogging it out in the various neighborhoods of Baghdad fighting for their reason to exist!

I do wonder though. Where does the average Iraqi MP hangout during the summer months? The average daytime temperature in Baghdad in July and August is 120 degrees Fahrenheit. I bet it’s lot cooler in Basra, maybe about 115. The good news is it probably is a wet heat.

Here are a few tips to ensure all Iraqi MPs have a restful and enjoyable time away.

-Drop in on W. I’m sure he would enjoy the company in Crawford this summer. It's little cooler there.

-Don’t try to impress desk clerks at the hotel that you are close personal friends with the Cheney’s. You may end up with an IED in your pillow.

-On market day, please don’t go unless you’re with John McCain and two brigades of armed soldiers.

-Travel heavy. I mean heavy. You need as much metal between you and the road as possible.

-If for any reason you find a WMD on one of your morning strolls, call Rick Santorum or Sean Hannity. They are the only ones left who still believe there really were any in Iraq.

-Don’t add George Tenet’s book, “At the Center of the Storm,” to your summer reading list. It will only disappoint you. It’s heavy on blame and light on romance.

-I hear the best Pacha is being served up in the Sunni Triangle. (Pacha is a slowly cooked combination of sheep's head, stomach, feet and a variety of other meats in broth.)

-Here’s a tip. The Hotel Ishtar in Baghdad has received rave reviews on the Yahoo travel website. Here is one of the best. “I stayed at this hotel well deployed with the United States Army to Iraq. Besides the sound of gunfire, the dead bodies, and the car bombings outside the hotel I loved everyday I stayed there.” Here is a testimonial for the Hotel Palestine. “Well, I was not beheaded, so that alone is a plus. The pool is a great place to avoid shrapnel.”

-Finally, make sure to send some postcards, particularly to Richard Perle, Paul Bremer, Douglas Feith, Christopher Hitchens, and Paul Wolfowitz. I’m sure they love to hear from you.

Going on vacation? Have a great time. Don't forget the sun screen, mosquito repellant, and the flak jacket.