Remember Dino? Fred and Wilma Flintstone's Pet?

UPDATE 1: The Creation Museum is hiring. They are looking for a Geologist. Here's the position description. Any takers?

Speaker and Researcher of Geology

Duties and Responsibilities

- Speak to layperson (and occasional science) groups across the country as requested through AiG Outreach Dept. Expected travel a minimum of 25%.
- Literature and field research.
- Write regular articles for web and other AiG publications.
- Produce books, DVDs, curriculum materials, etc.

Education, Experience and Skill Requirements

- Doctorate in geology preferred, or some other related scientific discipline (e.g., paleontology).
- Minimum of 5 years’ field or teaching experience in study discipline.
- Extremely strong knowledge of creation – understanding both the biblical and scientific arguments.
- Articulate and engaging speaker is a must, along with the willingness to be mentored in order to become an even better speaker (i.e., to be “teachable”).
- Ability to express concepts in writing
Items needed for possible employment
- Resume
- Salvation testimony
- Creation belief statement
- Confirmation of your agreement with the AiG Statement of Faith

The Creation Museum officially opened its doors Sunday, May 28th in Petersberg, KY. According the Guardian newspaper, ‘Some exhibits show dinosaurs aboard Noah's ark and assert that all animals were vegetarians until Adam committed the first sin in the garden of Eden. When Mr. Marsh was asked to explain the existence of fossilized remains of man's ancestors, he replied: "There are no such things. "Humans are basically as you see them today. Those skeletons they've found, what's the word? They could have been deformed, diseased or something. "I've seen people like that running round the streets of New York."’

Fortunately, there are not any running around the streets of Petersberg, KY.

A force behind the new museum, Mr Ken Hams offers more insights about our friends the dinosaurs.

“According to the Bible: Dinosaurs first existed around 6,000 years ago. God made the dinosaurs, along with the other land animals, on Day Six of the Creation Week (Gen. 1:20–25, 31). Adam and Eve were also made on Day Six—so dinosaurs lived at the same time as people, not separated by eons of time. Dinosaurs could not have died out before people appeared, because dinosaurs had not previously existed, and death, bloodshed, disease and suffering are a result of Adam’s sin (Rom. 5:12,14, 1 Cor. 15:21–22).

Representatives of all the kinds of air-breathing land animals, including the dinosaur kinds, went on board Noah’s Ark. All those left outside the Ark died in the cataclysmic circumstances of the Flood—many of their remains became fossils. After the Flood (around 4,500 years ago), the remnant of the land animals, including dinosaurs, came off the Ark and lived in the present world, along with people. Because of sin, the judgments of the Curse and the Flood have greatly changed the Earth. Post-Flood climatic change, lack of food, disease, and man’s activities caused many types of animals to become extinct. The dinosaurs, like many other creatures, died out. Why the big mystery about dinosaurs?”

The Tyrannosaurus was the largest known tyrannosaurid and one of the largest known land predators, measuring over 43 feet in length and weighed up to 6.8 metric tons.

That Ark was one heckuva boat! And Noah was an amazing floating zookeeper. He kept two on them content and well fed during the great flood that lasted over a year.

The new museum is only about 25 miles from my home in Cincinnati. An admission ticket is $19.95. Interacting with patrons is probably worth the price of admission. I wonder if any of them will bring their pet t-rex's along?

They Love Bill in Kosovo!

"Kosovo Albanians plan to honour their “saviour” Bill Clinton by erecting a statue of the former United States president in the capital of Serbia’s breakaway province......Pristina municipal authorities say that they expect to erect the statue somewhere along Clinton Boulevard later this summer."

Let's play foreign policy nostaglia! When American influence and military power are used wisely and effectively, we can bring peace and prosperity to various parts of the world. Remember when allies matter? Like NATO. I don't remember Bill landing in a jet wearing a flak jacket announcing that the Kosovo conflict was over. Perhaps Bill Clinton doesn't deserve a 10 foot statue in Kristina. Let the "Kosovers" make that decision. I do know that the morass in Iraq is bordering on insanity and words cannot properly describe the immensity or the proportions of this war's recklessness or senselessness. Only Joseph Conrad gets close.

As Kurtz laid dying, he said.'I am lying here in the dark waiting for death.' The light was within a foot of his eyes. I forced myself to murmur, `Oh, nonsense!' and stood over him as if transfixed.

"Anything approaching the change that came over his features I have never seen before, and hope never to see again. Oh, I wasn't touched. I was fascinated. It was as though a veil had been rent. I saw on that ivory face the expression of sombre pride, of ruthless power, of craven terror--of an intense and hopeless despair. Did he live his life again in every detail of desire, temptation, and surrender during that supreme moment of complete knowledge? He cried in a whisper at some image, at some vision--he cried out twice, a cry that was no more than a breath: "`The horror! The horror!'

My Daddy Has Two Ovaries!

We do get a glimpse of the semi-human side of Dick Cheney. They had to remove various leather like scales from his back and restart his heart one or two times in preparation for the photo. Nevertheless, he is once again a grandfather. I’m sure he is proud of the new grandson’s mother, his daughter Mary, and his son-in-law, Heather Poe.

Traditional families have strong ties and conservative values.

Ted Nugent has a Great Recipe for Roadkill

I just came across a web-based ad for “Jeff Foxworthy’s Beef Jerky.” At first glance I thought it was the title of one of his comic routines alluding to what redneck teenagers do when they lock the bathroom door. No, it really is a food product apparently blessed by Mr. Foxworthy himself. And it comes in three different flavors!

Mr. Foxworthy has made a tidy sum poking fun at himself and others who are rooted in the Southern, pick-up truck, warm beer, exburb lifestyle. I am not convinced that his blessing will motivate me or others to run out buy his beef jerky. After all he has some “stiff” competition with Chubby Checker’s Beef Jerky (Is he still alive?) and Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s All Beef Jerky.

Jeff’s foray into food endorsements got me wondering about other strange and marvelous ways other celebrities or quasi-celebrities have tried to leverage their notoriety into food marketing. Has anyone heard of Eric Estrada’s Potato Chips or Olympia Dukakis’ Greek Salad Dressing? They used to be on the supermarket shelves. I am not sure they are anymore.

I did some googling to see what else was out there. I did find interesting celebrity cookbooks.

Richard Deacon, an actor whose comically pompous roles included Lumpy Rutherford's father in the television series ''Leave It to Beaver'' and the overbearing producer Mel Cooley in ''The Dick Van Dyke Show,'' marketed his own microwave cookbook in the early 70s. Sadly, Mr. Deacon is no longer with us. Hopefully it wasn’t caused by one his recipes.

I also found Helen Curley Brown’s “Single Girl’s Cookbook.” I never thought of Ms. Brown as a culinary giant. She was the editor of Cosmopolitan for about 100 years. She always seemed a little underweight to me if you know what I mean. I can imagine one of her tips to single girls was “when you are hungry, chew some water. When you are really hungry, go shopping for shoes.”

Dom DeLuise has a website marketing a plethora of foods related products. I guess he has a famous seasoning blend “great with poultry, meat or fish.” He’s covering all his bases. At least Dom looks like he can enjoy a good meal.

Did you know that Robert Duvall’s mother is noted to have one of the top ten best recipes for crab cakes? The secret? She uses saltines instead of breadcrumbs.

I think the most bizarre find was a cookbook authored by Vincent Price and his wife, Mary, entitled “A Treasury of Great Recipes.” I keeping thinking about all those Roger Corman horror movies he did in the 60s. I’m sure some of his favorite recipes included calf brains, sweetmeats or tripe.

Elvis Presley had two cookbooks. I’m not sure I want to make something out of either one. Here is one his midnight snacks: “Peel two bananas, add Hershey chocolate pieces, add 4 200 mg Quaaludes, mix in 2 500mg Percodan and press firmly between two slices of Wonder Bread.” I guess I would prefer John Glenn’s Muskingham Chocolate Dew Cake. At least I know I will wake up in the morning.

Good luck Jeff Foxworthy with your beef jerky. You’re in stiff competition for the celebrity-crazed consumer dollars. I do want to leave everyone with a classic-“Aunt Bee’s Mayberry Cookbook.” Here are the ingredients for Aunt Bee’s favorite pork chops:
*8 pork chops
*1 cup catsup
*1 cup Coca-Cola
* Brown Sugar to taste
How can you go wrong with pork, catsup and coke?

The Way to Save America's Soul Starts at the Cruise Ship Buffet Line

When I have a mental block and the old grey matter doesn’t seem to be running on all cylinders, I always have my friends at WorldNetDaily.Com to bail me out! They are a life-blood to all neo-liberal, quasi-satirists who depend on easy marks!

WorldNetDaily is promoting a cruise for like-minded readers and fellow travelers. They do have their special way to market their event:

“The internal challenge…. is a cultural conflict over worldviews with the vestige of the Christian culture that shaped American history under siege from ultra-secularism, multiculturalism and moral relativism.

Is America doomed? Is there a way to reverse course? Can America emerge triumphant, again, as it has so often throughout its history?”

Sounds rather ominous? A bit apocalyptic? A dire situation? There is hope. Let’s cruise!

“Few places on earth are more conducive to relaxation – and clear thinking – than the islands of the Caribbean. Perhaps it's the light, tropical breezes that gently soothe the soul. Or the warm waters and warm receptions that await you on every shore. WorldNetDaily guests will be transported to the highest level of luxury and comfort as you are pampered aboard the five-star Holland America Westerdam.”

I can’t think of a better way to defeat the demonic duo of secularism and relativism than a nice cruise through the Caribbean! Are we doomed? Let’s go to the cocktail party! Can America reverse course? Pass the cocoa butter!

I really like their attitude. Most folks confronted with the demise of our country would convert their wealth to gold coins, put on their camouflage and head for Idaho. Not our friends at WND. These very difficult times call for extraordinary measures-a five star cruise around the blue waters of the Caribbean.

Only in America, can we spend an entire week obsessing about the corruption and degradation of our culture being pampered and cajoled on a cruise ship. Tough duty. And you know, they have been sponsoring the “Taking America Back” Cruise Package for 10 years. Who said prophecies of doom and gloom are not good business?

I do admire those who truly have the courage of their convictions. Fighting for America’s soul on a cruise ship is a good start. Perhaps they will ratchet up the pressure. Next year’s effort to save America may include a wild weekend in Las Vegas. I’m sure the secularists and relativists are waking in their boots.

Vacation? You Bet!

“Yes, you read that correctly. The Iraqi parliament - who our brave young men and women are fighting to protect and preserve - is planning on taking a two-month vacation during the months of July and August.” (From our friends at CrooksandLiars.com)

I really don’t begrudge our friends in the Iraqi Parliament for wanting to have some down time. After all it really is stressful watching the American military slogging it out in the various neighborhoods of Baghdad fighting for their reason to exist!

I do wonder though. Where does the average Iraqi MP hangout during the summer months? The average daytime temperature in Baghdad in July and August is 120 degrees Fahrenheit. I bet it’s lot cooler in Basra, maybe about 115. The good news is it probably is a wet heat.

Here are a few tips to ensure all Iraqi MPs have a restful and enjoyable time away.

-Drop in on W. I’m sure he would enjoy the company in Crawford this summer. It's little cooler there.

-Don’t try to impress desk clerks at the hotel that you are close personal friends with the Cheney’s. You may end up with an IED in your pillow.

-On market day, please don’t go unless you’re with John McCain and two brigades of armed soldiers.

-Travel heavy. I mean heavy. You need as much metal between you and the road as possible.

-If for any reason you find a WMD on one of your morning strolls, call Rick Santorum or Sean Hannity. They are the only ones left who still believe there really were any in Iraq.

-Don’t add George Tenet’s book, “At the Center of the Storm,” to your summer reading list. It will only disappoint you. It’s heavy on blame and light on romance.

-I hear the best Pacha is being served up in the Sunni Triangle. (Pacha is a slowly cooked combination of sheep's head, stomach, feet and a variety of other meats in broth.)

-Here’s a tip. The Hotel Ishtar in Baghdad has received rave reviews on the Yahoo travel website. Here is one of the best. “I stayed at this hotel well deployed with the United States Army to Iraq. Besides the sound of gunfire, the dead bodies, and the car bombings outside the hotel I loved everyday I stayed there.” Here is a testimonial for the Hotel Palestine. “Well, I was not beheaded, so that alone is a plus. The pool is a great place to avoid shrapnel.”

-Finally, make sure to send some postcards, particularly to Richard Perle, Paul Bremer, Douglas Feith, Christopher Hitchens, and Paul Wolfowitz. I’m sure they love to hear from you.

Going on vacation? Have a great time. Don't forget the sun screen, mosquito repellant, and the flak jacket.

"Old Age is No Place for Sissies." Bette Davis

My knee aches this morning. When I sit too long at my desk answering e-mails, my knee gets very stiff. I get up to walk around and I look like I am doing Walter Brennan impersonations in “Wagon Train.”

My primary doctor told me that I have osteoarthritis in both knees but my right is the worst. I’ve had 2 arthroscopic surgeries to clean out torn meniscus and cartilage. At this point I really don’t have much cushion in their; its mostly bone on bone. The most recent MRI taken of my knee looks like a small cave with stalactites and stalagmites winding through a dark canal. I’ve tried the chicken peaks and other parts that everyone raves about. You know the stuff they inject into knees to create some gelatinous cushion between the knee bones. I tried two series of injections and sadly, neither worked. Chicken beaks are not for me! Frankly, I thought the whole idea was kind of drug company voodoo disguised as therapy. About $800 worth of voodoo to be exact.

My prognosis? A knee replacement sooner vs. later. My doctor has told me repeatedly to lose some weight and that would help take the pressure off my knees. I am trying. Lord, I am trying. Exercise also helps. I am trying to do that more too.

Unfortunately, the same doctor who tells me every year to go on diet, has raised his white flag in his own battle with the lbs. He tried dieting and exercise. It didn’t work. Last year, he had a gastric bypass procedure. He looks great and lost about 70 lbs. That hasn’t stopped him from lecturing me. His unexpected surrender to the knife doesn’t help my self-confidence in my battle against the mid-drift bulge if you know what I mean.

I was about 49 when my body started emanating weird creaking noises and I woke up with various aches and pains. Some mornings after a lot of physical exertion, I would feel like I just finished 5 rounds with Joe Frazier! Although, I am confident he has more arthritis and bruised grey matter than I do!

Anyways I thought I would offer some tips to all those pre-baby boomers who will be joining the “Eating Ibuprofen” set sooner than they know.

Begin now to train your nose hairs. As everything else breaks down or slowly creeps to a halt, your nose hairs become loud and pronounced. For some, you have the added bonus of your ear hairs finding their inner voice. They can become part of facial duet that tries to take over your head. I haven’t discussed the eyebrows. At times they can add their own special harmony.

I suggest weed whacking those pesky follicles three or four times a week!

Drink lots of red wine. This is my antidote for practically everything. I have become convinced that red wine hydrates, fights cancer and heart disease and insulates your joints from further damage. I actually believe it inhibits the growth of nose hair.

Sleep whenever you can. I am particularly good at sleeping through office meetings now. Too often I am put in semi-darken rooms for those dreaded PowerPoint presentations. This is a great time to have a short kip. Don’t snore though.

Don’t eat white things. This applies to white bread, rice and ice cream. These tend to be empty carbs that do havoc to your triglyceride counts. Although I don’t believe it applies to the foam on a pint of Guinness.

Exercise as often as possible. We all know that. Recently a 46 year-old male dropped dead after running a half marathon in my hometown. Maybe we should exercise when it only feels good.

Eat plenty of seafood. I’m not talking about the filet of fish sandwiches at Mickey Ds. I love anything from the sea-oysters, monkfish, sea urchin, squid, etc. If it swims faster than me, is smaller than me and spends most of its time in the water, then its what’s for dinner!

And finally, go the bathroom as often as you can. It seems I am spending a lot more time there. You it wisely. I am half way through Gravity’s Rainbow just by wisely using my various visits to that special place.

I hope my brief primer on preparing for growing older is helpful. Oh, your short-term memory also starts to erode. I hope my brief primer on preparing for growing older is helpful.

Growing older is a bitch! But considering the alternative, I’ll take it.

Yeah, They Vote, but Their Cheese Smells!

From the Washington Post....
"Nicolas Sarkozy, a member of the ruling party and France's former top law enforcement officer, defeated Socialist Segolene Royal, who waged a determined battle to become France's first elected female head of state, by a 53 percent to 47 percent vote, according to final results. Voter turnout was a near-record 84 percent."

Eighty-four percent of the eligible voters turned out in a run off election in France. In 2004, only 55.3% of eligible voters in the USA went to the polls to vote in the Presidential race; 70% of the registered voters.

Those Frenchies seem to like democracy. Maybe we need to send Karl Rove, Alberto Gonzales and some his DOJ Federal Prosecutors over there and teach them how to suppress the vote!

The Richer Get Richer and the Poor...from Another Planet

When you get a chance, read the article "Big Names, Big Wallet, Big Cause" in the New York Times. Here's the link: www.nytimes.com/2007/05/04/business/04insider.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

"The only thing I like about rich people is their money."
Nancy Astor

Wealthy hedge funders, media moguls and private equity denizens placed outrageous bids for the special opportunities to play a round of golf with Tiger Woods ($650,000), have Mario Batali make dinner for 10, $1.2 million or sing a song with Aerosmith ($400,000). The proceeds go the Robin Hood fund that supports a variety of charities in the New York area. This year the Robin Hood soiree raised over $71 million! Not bad for an evening’s worth of excess.

Now don’t get me wrong. There is nothing I like more than to see the ridiculously wealthy give away their money, particularly to worthy causes. You can only buy so many mansions in the Hamptons, private jets, or seats of the Metropolitan Museum of Art Board of Directors. I guess it has been a good year on Wall Street, in private banking and for speculators who buy or sell derivatives or futures contracts. An evening of wealth redistribution is a good thing! I must give these folks credit. $71 million is a great deal of money for charities.

According to a Spectrem Group Study. “For the first time, the number of households with $5MM+ Net Worth, not Including Primary Residence (NIPR), exceeded 1 million. While all wealth segments increased in 2006, the wealthiest segments experienced the largest percentage increases.

The number of “lesser” millionaires and affluent Americans also increased, according to Spectrem. The group says there are now 9 million households in the U.S. worth $1 million or more, while the number of affluent households — those with $500,000 or more — grew to 15 million in 2006, up 9% from 2005.

In other words, the fastest population growth was at the top of the top. Over the past decade, the number of households worth $5 million or more has more than quadrupled. …It’s all further proof of the widening gap among the rich — with those at the top of the top doing better than those at the bottom of the top.” According the U.S. Census, the top 5% have increased their total wealth over 65% from 1970 to 2000 using constant dollars. In real terms, the top 5% own over 50% of total net wealth in the USA. Not surprisingly the bottom 10% of citizens own no net wealth at all!

Wealth inequality is growing faster than anytime in our nation’s history. The richer are getting richer and the poor remain very poor. Yes, it is nice see the newly rich open up their pocket books and give half a million so they can play golf with Tiger. For an increasing number of people this is just pocket money. I am sure the money will go to some worthy cause.

I guess I am more unsettled by the growing distance between the very wealthy and the rest of our society. When 1 out of every 4 children has no health insurance, 18% of children live in poverty and 1 in 10 families experience hunger on a regular basis, a dinner prepared by Mario for over $1 million seems a little extravagant.

Yes, hedge fund owners are giving but do they do it because they genuine comprehend the enormous social needs that are out there? Or do they do it because it has become a social norm among their very wealthy peers? I don’t begrudge those who work hard, take risks and accumulate a fortune. We do live in a market economy. I am concerned that their world view and increasingly circumscribed lifestyle of extravagance and opulence insulates them from the grim realities that define the lives of many of less fortunate in this country. Do we still live in the same country?

“When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.”
Evita Peron

Mission Accomplished

In Iraq

In New Orleans

In the Justice Department

In Afghanistan

In the Supreme Court

In Social Security Reform

In Faith-Based Initiatives

In Outing Covert CIA Agents

They Weren't Escorts, Just Gals with Great Hands!

From CNN…”A top State Department official resigned Friday after revealing to ABC News that he had been a client of the alleged "D.C. madam's" escort service. A State Department official, on condition of anonymity, confirmed to CNN the reason for Randall Tobias' departure as director of U.S. Foreign Assistance and administrator of the U.S. Agency for International Development. The State Department said that Tobias, 65, resigned for "personal reasons."

ABC reported on its Web site that Tobias, 65, said Thursday that he had used Deborah Jeane Palfrey's escort service "to have gals come over to the condo to give me a massage." He told the network that there was no sex involved.” Tobias served as Bush's first AIDS czar. In that post, he promoted abstinence and faithfulness to help prevent the global spread of AIDS. At his most recent job in the State Department he was responsible for combating international prostitution.

I guess Mr. Tobias was conducting some in-depth ethnographic research to learn more about ways to prevent AIDS and to combat prostitution. After all they were only gals not women. Mr. Tobias indicated that calling those gals over was “like ordering pizza.”

I’ll have the blonde with extra cheese and anchovies. Make sure she brings her whip and some dipping sauce.

Update 1: Brian Ross of ABC News reported Monday morning on the mounting scandal from the records of the so-called "DC madam." Ross said many prominent DC figures can be found on the list of clients for the escort service, which has emerged in the course of the trial of its operator, Deborah Jeane Palfrey.

"It's a long list, we've been going through the phone records for the last four years provided for us by Jean Palfrey," Ross reported on Monday morning. "There are some very prominent people, lobbyists, lawyers, members of the military, other people in the Bush administration."

That's heckeva lot of people ordering pizza!