Surf and Turf

Early this morning about 3:30 AM, our dog Sparky started barking out the back window that looks over our water garden. My wife and I got up to see what he was barking at. We thought that it was again, Mr. Ricky Ricardo, the neighborhood plant thief that has been arrested and released more times than Jack Abramoff.

No, this time it was not cuddly, cute baby raccoons that some folks want to domesticate. This was a raccoon that was bigger than most VW Jettas. It jumped into our water garden and proceeded to swim around dobbing for our fish. Apparently, this has been a rather lucrative feeding ground for him (better than the Georges Banks off of New England). At times he moved from his regular doggy paddle to a truncated breaststroke! We tried to chase him off with loud noises, lights and dog barks, but he seemed very content seining for his fresh water sushi.

We finally got him to leave after several visits. The last time he jumped in and was standing up trying to catch fish. Our garden is about 2 feet deep!

Ladies and gentlemen, these raccoons are NOT cute or little. The one in our garden is either regularly visiting Floyd Landis's doctor for some injections or he is getting very fat and sassy dining on garbage and fish in our hood.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE keep tights lids on all garbage cans. Do not put our food for stray cats or dogs. Good intentions provide nourishment for rats and Landis injected raccoons. I recommend everyone should purchase supercans. These have lids that are attached and lock. Varmints cannot get into them. Additionally, raccoons carry rabies and other diseases. I do know that a neighbor who lives on a nearby street had to go through the entire rabies injections series because she got bit while she was attempting to get her dog separated from a rabid raccoon.

Remember the next time you see a brown VW Jetta with black accent stripes parked on our street, give it a poke. Don't be surprised to see it roll over on its fat belly and smile. Our neighborhood is better than the Golden Corral. We offer surf and turf!