How Much Do You Love Rush?

“Hello friends, my name is Michelle Malkin, and I want to talk with you briefly about one of the best love forums on the web. It’s the new Limbaugh Intimacy Emotive Scale-LIES. I want you to know that I found my soul mate through LIES! It has changed my life. Mr. Limbaugh has hired some of the best and brightest minds from CPAC, the Heritage Foundation, and Drudge Report to develop a simple inventory of questions to determine if you are really in love with Rush. I mean not just like Rush, but truly worship the ground he walks on. LIES prepares a score and sends it to you so that you know in a very objective, unbiased way how much you love Rush. Please take a moment and visit RUSHLIES.COM. It will change your life.

Here are just some of the questions on the Limbaugh Intimacy Emotive Scale (LIES).”

1. I like Rush when he wears his black silk shirt: (Please check all that apply.)
• Wide open at the collar with two or more buttons unbuttoned
• With a wide white tie
• Open with a large sign of the zodiac medallion
• All the above

2. Rush Limbaugh is more intelligent than: (Please check all that apply.)
• Charles Darwin
• Ayn Rand
• Socrates
• Framers of the Constitution
• John Maynard Keynes
• All the above

3. Which of the items listed below truly defines Rush’s greatness:
Rush Limbaugh is greater than:
• 2 Bill O’Reillys
• 4 Sean Hannitys
• The Republican National Committee
• A multi-year addiction to hillbilly heroin
• Any black quarterback in the NFL
• All the above

4. If Rush Limbaugh was gravely ill and needed someone to make an organ donation, I would donate:
• A pint of blood
• A kidney
• A part of my liver
• One of my corneas
• My laparoscopic band
• All the above

“By answering these and a few other questions, you too will learn how much you really love Rush Limbaugh. Don’t delay. Go to RUSHLIES.COM and find out your Rush Love Score today.

If you sign on in the next two days, you will be placed in a lottery to go with Rush the next time he visits the Dominican Republic to boast the local hospitality industry in Santo Domingo. Remember everyone looks young in the Caribbean. It’s just the humidity!”