Qualified? You Bet!

Update II: Let's help Governor Palin understand what the Bush Doctrine is not.

Don't confuse it with the Monroe Doctrine. Wikipedia reports that the Monroe doctrine was established by Marilyn Monroe after dating John and Bobby Kennedy. No more Kennedy's as boyfriends.

The Bush Doctrine can easily be confused with the Budweiser Doctrine-never drink beer owned by foreigners. Oops. I guess we now need to relabel it as the Miller Doctrine.

The Bush Doctrine has nothing to do with Dick Cheney's rules and guidelines for hunting game birds with friends in the Texas bush.

The Bush Doctrine should never be confused with the Biblical story of the burning bush. W is not Yahweh and Little John certainly isn't Moses.

If Governor Palin remembers what the Bush Doctrine is not, she will continue to do well in future press interactions.

Update I: I guess McCain has shipped Sarah back to the tundra to prepare for future interactions with the press and the Vice Presidential debate. It is reported that at least ten communication specialists are helping Sarah prepare for the news cycle debutante ball. She has to come out sometime soon.

Not surprisingly, a former aide in Alaska who had helped prepare Ms. Palin for her campaign debates told the New York Times, "...Sarah had a talent for distilling information into digestible sound bites." The aide said "she generally prefers light preparatory materials to heavy briefing books, and prefers walking through potential questions and answers with aides to holding mock sessions." Apparently context and background are not really helpful in preparing to be a Governor or a Vice President.

Here are some important tips that the communicators are helping Governor Palin with their mock Q's and A's.

-Alaska is NOT and will never be a sovereign country. It is the 49th state of the USA.

-Democrats did not ride on dinosaurs 6,000 years ago. Only Republicans like to be reminded of their ancestors Fred, Wilma, and Dino.

-It is OK to ask God to help you win a dogsled race. It isn't nice to ask him to help you build a natural gas pipeline.

-Showing off your family including your special needs son and pregnant daughter at every photo opportunity imaginable is a good thing. Just be sure to remind the press that your family is off limits.

-When campaigning with Little John, keep reminding him that the Shiites are aligned with Iran, the Sunnis with Al Qaeda, and Czechoslovakia and mimeograph machine no longer exist.

-And finally, there is a difference between earmarks and Washington pork. Earmarks are good for Alaska and Washington pork is wasteful spending.

With these few but important tips, I am confident that Governor Palin will do fine interacting with the press.

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Recently, there have been some questions raised regarding whether Governor Palin is really qualified for the Vice Presidency of the United States. Questions regarding lying on key issues, billing Alaska for family expenses, and how could she actually complete a bachelor’s degree in 6 years from 6 different colleges?

Well, those are important issues that will be properly answered by the sure-footed spinmeisters from the McCain campaign. What I want to do is to assure the American voter that Sarah Palin is able to deal with foreign policy issues on Day One as the Vice President. Here are the ten reasons why she is ready.

1. Sarah is skilled at combating islamofascism because she still calls french fries freedom fries.
2. When given a map of the world, she can accurately pick out 5 of the 7 continents. She still confuses South America with Africa. Don't we all!
3. She doesn’t need to apply for a passport to visit countries outside of Alaska. She got one in 2004.
4. Governor Palin watches Fox News.
5. Although as Governor she has no authority over the Alaskan National Guard, she does send members Christmas Cards.
6. As an avid hunter Ms. Palin knows how to dress a moose. These skills could come in very handy when interrogating alleged terrorists.
7. As a fundamentalist Christian and a Creationist, she is certainly qualified to pick out the Anti-Christ among the USA’s many enemies or friends.
8. As Governor of Alaska, she fired hear personal chef because he served tabouli and baba ganoush as an appetizer.
9. She ordered both of Lynne Cheney’s novels as books on tape.
10. Although she only stopped in Ireland for refueling on her way to Kuwait, she did visit the Duty Free Shop and bought some cheap vodka for her husband.