This is a CNN Breaking News Story!

Wolf Blitzer: “Scientists at NASA are reporting that a large meteor is only half a million miles away from the earth. They predict that there is a 78% likelihood that this meteor will hit the earth sometime in the next 36 to 50 hours. It could mean that life on this planet may end in a massive explosion and conflagration!!”

“We ask our resident experts what this means for the future of our planet and humankind.”





James Carville: “Well, Wolf, I believe the Democrats have missed a great opportunity to blame the Republicans for getting us into this mess. Who was in charge when this meteor decided to collide with the earth? Spending time finding ways to save humanity is just a big waste of time. Once again it shows that the Democrats don’t have a backbone for a real political fight.”

Mary Matalin: “This is exactly why American voters know that when this nation is under attack you must turn to the Republican Party. Life as we know may end in the next two days, but John McCain would never back down. He has the courage to confront this crisis head-on.”

Chuck Todd: “I must agree with Mary. Voters in those crucial swing states of Michigan, Ohio and Pennsylvania continue to tell us in their polling results that they want someone who is a real leader. This could be trouble for the Obama campaign in the very near future.”

Sean Hannity: “David Ayers. Terrorist fist bump. Rev. Jeremiah Wright, closet Muslim, supporter of infanticide, angry black woman,……”



David Gergen: “ I think my colleagues are missing the point. This crisis is not about being a Republican or a Democrat. It’s about giving the American people something to believe in. They are tired of the histrionics and partisan bickering. They want their elected officials to do something for them. What we need is a bi-partisan commission established to study this crisis and make recommendations to the President that are in the interests of all Americans.”

Howard Kurtz: “As an analyst of media, I find it astonishing that not one of these pundits grasp the dire nature of this crisis. The world as we know it may end in a few short hours and we are talking about political advantage! The truth is this meteor isn’t a Republican or a Democrat. We need to find a way to report how the world end’s without our political biases showing. This crisis demands objectivity.”

Wolf Blitzer: “Thank you all for your analyses. We have to take a commercial break now. When we come back, the question I will pose to our guests is, once the meteor hits the earth which party, the Democrats or the Republicans, will see the most immediate benefits?”

Former Prisoner of War

Update I: Big John's comments on the Tonight Show. Unbelievable!!! What can I say? He continues to parody himself.

“The insinuation from the Obama campaign that John McCain, a former prisoner of war, cheated is outrageous,”

How many times do John McCain's syncophants insert the four words "former prisoner of war" as they defend their candidate?

Here are a few that many political junkies haven't heard.

John McCain, former prisoner of war, always washes his hands after visiting the men's room.

As a former prisoner of war, John McCain never forgets Mother's Day.

John McCain, a former prisoner of war, always eats his vegetables.

John McCain's first wife has forgiven him for cheating on her because, you know, he was a former prisoner of war.

John McCain can change his mind on any policy issues because he was-a former prisoner of war.

John McCain can be excused for being occasionally confused or befuddled because he was a former prisoner of war.

Flossing one's teeth is an important daily ritual for John McCain, a former prisoner of war.

Lobbying for Charles Keating, Jr. was a mistake but understandable given than John McCain was a former prisoner of war.

Asking his wife Cindy to take part in the Buffalo Chip Beauty Contest was a good opening line at the Sturgis Rally because you and I know that Big John WAS a former prisoner of war!!!

I am sure you can up with some of your own examples.

I Wonder if There is an Applebee's in Oahu?

On NPR, Cokie Roberts asserted that Sen. Barack Obama's vacation to Hawaii "makes him seem a little bit more exotic," and characterized Hawaii as "a somewhat odd place to be doing it," despite also asserting, "I know that he is from Hawaii, he grew up there, his grandmother lives there." Roberts previously criticized Obama on ABC's This Week, stating that Obama's vacation in Hawaii "has the look of him going off to some sort of foreign, exotic place."

These inside beltway pundits try so desperately to connect to the working stiffs who live in the nether regions of the USA. Cokie’s silly comments mirror an assertion by the NY Times op-ed contributor, David Brooks, when he lamented that Obama was so elitist, he would never be caught at the salad bar at an Applebee’s Restaurant. Sadly, little Davy hasn’t been to an Applebee’s. If he dined there like the great mass of the American electorate, he would know that Applebee’s doesn’t offer a salad bar.

Cokie lives with her family in Bethesda, MD. According to the 2000 Census, Bethesda is the best-educated city in the United States of America with a population of 50,000 or more. 79% of residents 25 or older have bachelor's degrees and 49% have graduate or professional degrees. The median income for a household is $99,102, and the median income for a family was $130,160. Eighty-six percent of all residents were white. For the vast majority of Americans, Bethesda seems a little “exotic.”

David, the resident reasonable conservative at the NY Times, lives in Montgomery County, Maryland. Montgomery County in Maryland is situated just north of Washington, D.C. and southwest of Baltimore. It is one of the most affluent counties in the nation, and has the highest percentage (29.2%) of residents over 25 years old that hold an advanced degree. I don’t believe there is an Applebee’s near Davy’s gated home.

I wonder where Davy and Cokie vacation? I do not believe I would find them in Pigeon Forge, TN riding the roller coaster at Dollywood. Or at the Harley Davidson Rally in Sturgis, SD sharing tips with other hog owners. Perhaps they stayed home to show their solidarity with nearly 67% of Americans who are not going anywhere this summer.

I continue to chortle when these highly-paid, insulated pundits believe they can “channel” the feelings and views of those who live outside the affluent neighborhoods ringing Washington, DC. They are clueless. I keep thinking about Joan Rivers description of ‘roughing it.” Roughing it for her means ordering a meal via room service and actually eating it!

As the McCain Campaign Becomes more Audacious, Johnny Boy Looks Smaller and Smaller.

Update 8/5/08

The attack dogs are at it again. Obama has tried extremely hard to avoid the pitfalls of past candidates who are of color. He emphasizes self-improvement, taking personal responsibility, and moving beyond traditional racial barriers. In many ways this message has resonated with a broad swath of voters. Using the Rovian approach, this is the perfect time to attack his apparent strength with another festering earworm.

In Lindsey Graham's comments on the Sunday Fox News Vomitoriam, he insinuated that Obama was implying that McCain is racist. Graham went on to say, "...there's no doubt in my mind that what Senator Obama is trying to suggest -- that he's a victim of something."

Alluding to Obama calling McCain a racist and claiming victimhood is the new Republican earworm. They were holding on to this one for just right time to unload it. And they just did. This earworm will be repeated and repeated by as many McCain surrogates until it loses any air time cache. Graham and the other minions know that many white folks just "love" it when black people claim that other whites are racist and black people are victims.

Again, Obama has never uttered any statements like this. It doesn't matter. The earworm is burrowing its way through the political discourse. Tom Daschle on the same program had to stop and actually say in response, "Barack Obama does not believe John McCain is a racist." This is the attack the jugular politics in the Turd Blossom Universe we should only expect more of in the near future.

Here is a recent post by John Fund from the Wall Street Journal: “The Terminator's Terminator (Steve Schmidt -- McCain's new operations manager).” “The John McCain campaign ... installed Steve Schmidt, until now an ultra intense counselor to the campaign, as its operations manager. Mr. Schmidt has a reputation for ruthless efficiency, a take-no-prisoners campaign style and the ability to inspire confidence in subordinates. Karl Rove once dubbed him "The Bullet," a reference to both the shape of his shaved head and his lethal impact when deployed against opponents….”

Steve and many other alumni of Young Republicans cut their campaigning teeth under the tutelage of the great “Turd Blossom.” Schmidt’s ruthless approach to attacking Obama for his celebrity status is classic Rovian politics. You find your opponents greatest strength and build a false narrative that casts doubts about that candidate’s perceived attribute. As you remember, Rove and his minions painted Al Gore as a boaster and braggart. They Swift-boated John Kerry’s Vietnam War experience. Rove gave a glimpse of the new McCain attack on Obama in a recent speech. He was quoted talking with some Republicans operatives recently saying that Obama “was coolly arrogant… He's the guy at the country club with the beautiful date, holding a martini and a cigarette, that stands against the wall and makes snide comments about everyone who passes by."

Is this a legitimate characterture of Barack Obama? Not really. It doesn’t matter in the Rovian world of political mudslinging. You start with a basic premise to attack and discount the perceived strengths of your opponent with innuendo, half-truths, and in many instances, fabrications. You have your talking heads fertilize the 24-hour news cycle with same narrative and character assassinations. In a short time, the pundits and political reporters start asking questions to fill their newspaper columns or airtime. Are these legitimate attacks on Obama? Is he pompous, presumptuous, and full of hubris? Regardless if the attacks are amoral and baseless, they have succeeded. They are earworms that fester their way into the infected realm of contemporary political dialogue. Often these earworms are packaged in a manner to resonant with many of our deeply rooted prejudices.

Rove and most Republicans control the prevailing discourse not because they have better ideas. They understand how to exploit the media’s insatiable need for news and controversy. Repeating false narratives over and over again gets as much attention as real news. Most viewers and listeners cannot discern the differences. Just poll most Americans even today and ask them if Saddam Hussein was responsible for the 9-11 terrorists attacks. How many times did Republican members of congress repeat the lie that Hurricane Katrina didn’t damage our oil drilling efforts in the Gulf? Or that the Chinese were drilling for oil of Cuba’s coastline. Steve Colbert labeled these political polemics at “truthiness.” I called them lies, lies damnable lies!

As these attacks or false narratives increase in ferocity, John McCain’s candidacy becomes less relevant. What are his views on the economy, illegal immigration, global warming? He just has to appear as the candidate that is not Obama. Schmidt’s winning coalition of voters includes those crazies on the extreme right of his party and “low information voters” that will go out in troves to vote against an arrogant Muslim president and independents who begin to doubt Obama’s overall character. Once the earworms grow and infect the political discourse, he wants to discourage other potential voters from voting at all. By debasing the election, he hopes to reduce turnout. This has worked in past elections.

This political strategy does have a downside. John McCain, the maverick, becomes an empty suit. This was most evident recently when McCain told ABC News that payroll taxes were not “off the table” to help bolster social security. Immediately after his flip-flop on no new taxes, a spokesperson, Tucker Bounds, essentially dismissed McCain’s pronouncement by stating “…that raising the payroll tax is absolutely out of the question…there is no imaginable circumstance where John McCain would raise payroll taxes. It’s absolutely out of the question.” Apparently, John McCain no longer speaks for the John McCain campaign.

Sacrifices for Our Country

President Bush recently revealed that he gave up playing golf in solidarity with the soldiers and families who are making sacrifices on behalf of our country. Clearly, this President will do whatever it takes to show support for those troops in harms way. Giving up golf is just one sacrifice he and other members of his administration have done to show support for our fighting men and women. In my investigations, I discovered other ways the President, his family, supporters and members of his administration are sacrificing.

Dick Cheney’s pacemaker, implanted to regulate his heartbeat, stops for two seconds every hour to honor our military.

Condoleezza Rice has refused to go to the orthodontist until we capture or kill Osama Bin Laden.

Douglas Feith will not clean his garage until Amin Chalabi becomes President of Iraq.

Barbara Bush, President Bush’s mother, has instructed her servants never to use her good china at her family’s retreat in Kennebunkport, Maine until the WMDs are found in Iraq.

William Kristol gave up his monthly pedicures to honor our troops.

Paul Wolfowitz hasn’t washed his comb since we invaded Iraq.

Barbara Bush, Jenna’s unmarried twin, has sworn off downing jello shots on weekdays.

Don Rumsfield has refused to fly in jets owned by the Saudi Royal family.

Peggy Noonan named her favorite guinea pig, Tommy Franks, after our swift and decisive victory in Iraq.

Ann Coulter has put her Haliburton stock in a blind trust until the Iraq War is over.

Dana Perino did not renew her membership in the Jessica Simpson Official Fan Club. Instead she bought donuts for the White House Press Corps.

John Boehner only goes to the Tanning Spa once a week and uses the free time to play cribbage with his office staff.

We are at war people! Over 4,000 soldiers have been killed, 30,00 have been wounded and 1.2 million Iraqis have died. The USA is spending 9 billion dollars a month “prosecuting“ the Iraqi War. We must make sacrifices and, most importantly, show our solidarity with our troops and their loved ones. I am very sure many of the injured soldiers languishing in Walter Reed Hospital appreciate the gestures offered by the neocons and their minions.

Parallel Houses of Worship

I didn’t watch Barack Obama’s speech regarding race, his former preacher and contemporary politics. Frankly, I really don’t need to. Any attempt on his part to distance himself from the Rev. Wright’s volatile comments will be met with suspicion and doubt by many whites and resentment and mistrust by persons of color.

Sunday remains one of the most segregated days in America. The vast majority of African Americans and whites continue to go their separate ways for their religious observances.

In era when many Americans spend more time watching Oprah Winfrey than having conversations with their spouses or children, we still go to different places to find God.

At a time when most Americans are filling out their office pools eagerly anticipating a basketball competition that is overwhelmingly led by African American athletes, we cannot sit in the same pews to hear about the beatitudes or sing hymns.

For the first time in our nation’s history, many of us are seriously considering electing someone who is not white for our highest office. Yet, few of Obama’s white supporters have ever been inside an African American house of worship.

For all our progress, most African Americans and whites worship and pray in parallel universes.

I will not defend Rev. Wright’s most disturbing comments. However, I will defend his right to interpret Jesus’ gospel through the challenges and struggles of his congregation. Since the time Africans were brought to America as slaves, the black church has been a sanctuary. A safe place that permitted people of color to gather, sing and worship without fear of reprisal and prejudice. It was the early black preachers that started the civil rights movement through their sermons and calls for social justice. I can only imagine how whites would have reacted to the black preachers of an earlier era demanding equal rights and the end of segregation. We didn’t have Fox News scouring YouTube for the most incendiary comments 50 years ago!

Rev. Jeremiah Wright is a person defined by his life experience. Over his seventies years he has witnessed the worst forms of racism and its debilatating affects on African Americans. I never lived in the Southside of Chicago. I never suffered the affects of grinding poverty, racism, or violence that continues to plague much of the poorest neighborhoods of Chicago or Cincinnati. I don’t believe his comments are intended to be political statements. His sermons are his attempt to help his congregants find a way to transcend a culture of hopelessness and despair. Did he cross the line at times? Perhaps. But I will not judge him by the excerpts on YouTube. I will take a measure of his life in all the good works he has done to lift his people up.

Barack Obama will repudiate Rev. Wright’s most volatile comments; just as he did when pundits asked if him he appreciated Louis Farrakhan’s support. Obama’s candidacy is a watershed moment in American politics. He isn’t asking the electorate to vote for him because he is solely a person of color. Both whites and blacks are drawn to his candidacy because he understands that we no longer can worship in separate pews. Our common humanity will determine our success in responding to the enormous challenges facing this country right now. Rev. Wright was a leader during a period of religious isolation. Barack Obama’s inclusive politics is moving beyond the racial divisions of the past.

Yes, he was a member of Rev. Wright’s church. But he can’t be held responsible for Rev. Wright’s worldview. Barack’s message emphasizes reconciliation and cooperation. He clearly has move beyond Rev. Wright’s rhetoric. Do we have the courage to join Barack Obama in the same pew? For a few of us, it may never happen. Being an optimist, I believe in the good judgment of my fellow Americans. We have the capacity to join Barack in forming a new body politic.

Portions Should be the Size of My Head

Fatboy Tom is back! Needless to say it has been some time since I offered my keen insights and biting sarcasm. First, the holiday season was just too damn busy! Second, I need some inspiration. Third, I am notoriously lazy.

Parodying some of the buffoonery that is regularly exhibited on the Presidential campaign trail is just too easy and frankly stale. For the record, I really find “Tweety” Chris Matthews to be an absolute dolt. He is enamored with his squeaky voice and just can’t help trashing the Clintons whenever he has the opportunity. The stuff he bilged about Hillary during the New Hampshire Primary was just outrageous. I go back to one of his choice comments that he repeated during the Iowa Caucuses. He kept on saying, “Well over two thirds of the Democratic electorate are rejecting Hillary Clinton this evening. This should be of grave concern for the Hillary and her campaign.” I’m sitting here listening to his spin and thinking, “Using Tweety logic, didn’t 2/3d’s of the participants in the Democratic Caucuses also reject Obama and Edwards?”

The caucuses were not about rejecting candidates but exhibiting voters’ preferences. I am sure those Democrats that stood in a particular corner of the room for Obama will most likely vote for Hillary or Edwards in the general election against any of the pretenders running as Republicans. Tweety’s anti-Clinton antics are becoming legendary. I did love it when Mr. Montana Ranch, Tom Brokaw, reminded, Tweety, that it is important to the let the voters decide and not the pundits after Tweety was flummoxed by the New Hampshire primary victory for Hillary.

Enough about politics…….

I was at the YMCA exercising last night. While I was stretching my hamstrings, I glanced at an old copy of “Shape,” a women’s fitness magazine. It was open to page about, you guessed it, “healthy eating.” For most of us foodies the title of the article is an oxymoron. It is not about reducing bad fats or using fresh ingredients. I am all over that. It’s about portion size.

This article was touting how you can make a piece of pita bread into a wonderful pizza by adding sauté vegetables, some herbs and a few slivers of low fat cheese. Now most pita bread slices are about 8 inches in diameter. Once you add a few vegetables and some micron slices of cheese, it still does not become dinner. It remains just that, a piece of pita bread with some stuff on top. The editors of “Shape” are delusional if they think anyone will walk away from reading this article and start having an 8-inch pita with stuff as their primary source of calories for the day.

I am sure there are those women readers who will try to limit themselves to one pita with stuff and find out very soon that they are still hungry and will remain hungry until they find some rice cakes to consume! Women who try to meet “Shape’s” dietary expectations and fail to limit their intake to one pita with stuff will walk away feeling guilty and gluttoness! The guilt will translate into depression and ultimately to a late night date with a pint of the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream.

It is not only Shape Magazine that perpetuates this false narrative about healthy eating. Has anyone tried to live on Healthy Choice entrees? I mean actually live on them? They clearly are smaller than a pita pizza.

My general philosophy is a portion should be about the size of my head and not my gall bladder. Most Healthy Choice entrees are promoted with coupons that offer the buyer two for one. There is a reason for that. Unless, you plan on joining Mahatma Gandhi for a long slow fast, the only way to eat healthy choice entrees is in multiples of two! And you still need that pita pizza in reserve to hold off late night hunger pangs.

I am all for eating healthier. And we should limit the total number of calories. I just think this obsession with dieting and body image is ruinous to most people. Very few people have the will power or they come from a pre-determined gene pool that inhibits their ability to live up to the stupid and unrealistic expectations promulgated by our popular culture and Shape Magazine.

By the way, our friends at Weight Watchers have caught on to this idea. I just saw a commercial for Weight Watchers with a byline, “Diets don’t work!” They have been marketing their diet plan for years, and at the same time, making a fortune on every person who joins and rejoins their program. You no longer are just dieting; you are altering your lifestyle. You still buy their stupid food products and go to their meetings. Marketing is often about repackaging.

Give me a dinner the size of my head and I am happy. Feed me an 8-inch pita with stuff and I will eat two Healthy Choice entrees, 8 rice cakes and still have room for a pint of Ben and Jerry’s!